Have you ever heard the term, “Don’t Judge a Book by its Cover”? Sure, you have probably even said this yourself. We all know we should not make this mistake, yet we all do! We see some person dressed in dirty worn clothing and think they must be poor or we see a person drive by in a brand new Escalade and imagine their wealth.
How silly can we be to know we should not think this way - Yet, we do everyday. We all look at people and make judgments. Some are more innocent than others. As a law enforcement officer, I have to make judgments about situations or I may end up injured or worse. While making these situational judgments, I have trained myself to avoid making them about people. I enter a situation and immediately judge the risk to my safety, but not specifically the people nearby; because if I were to make a mistake in my initial judgment it could be costly.
Several years ago, I failed myself and judged a person based on the situation and although it was not “costly”, it was “educational”. I was working the midnight shift, for the Neosho Police Department. I saw a middle aged man carrying a back pack along U.S. Highway 60. As I stopped and asked if he was alright, he told me he was heading east toward “Grandby” (I did not misspell Granby). Hearing the incorrect pronunciation of my neighbor on the eastern horizon, quickly allowed me to judge this poor soul as not being from “these parts”.
I asked the man where he was headed and he said he had no destination. He said he was walking across America to see what he could find and where he would end up. He looked as though he had little to his name and I judged him as being a homeless man, whom like so many others had most likely been cast aside by time and trials. I offered to take him to get something to eat and he accepted. As we drove off in my police car, he asked if there was an automatic teller machine nearby. He explained he had money in an account and while he appreciated my offer of food, he would rather pay his own way. This was unusual and I began to reevaluate my judgment of his situation.
After going to get money, we drove through the only place open in the wee hours of a Neosho morning, Taco Gringo, and got some burritos. He offered to buy me one for my kindness, which again made me re-think who this man really was. The man savored his food and the air conditioning in my car, as we headed to Elwood Junction.
On the way, I offered to take him to the Neosho Crosslines Homeless Shelter. I explained there were storms off to the west in Oklahoma and he might be better off there. He was concerned about his safety in such a place. I explained I held a position on the Board of the Shelter and I assured him it was safe and clean. He respectfully declined and said he just wanted to get walking toward “Grandby”. I wished the man well and he asked for my business card, which I supplied. I bid him a safe journey and went on about my shift.
I did think about this man several times, both that night and over the coming days, as storms rolled through and I wondered how he might be faring. A few weeks went by and a letter came to me. As I opened the envelope, I found a note from my homeless friend. The note said he had walked away from his life due to mental pressures and he was searching for himself. He went on to say how he had been an Executive with a computer software company in Washington State and was worth a great deal of money. However, he said money did not bring him happiness – he said he found happiness by meeting people like me along the back roads of America.
Inside this envelope was an even bigger surprise, a money order for $1,000, which he asked I cash and use to help the people of Crosslines. This money was “anonymously” donated, per his wish. Not all people wandering our streets are truly homeless or unable to care for themselves; some actually seek an ultimate freedom they were unable to find in a structured society. I misjudged this “book” and became educated about humanity and the goodness of others.
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